Halloween.

Ladies and Gents,

It's time to talk of my halloween. It was freaky and awesome and overall hilarious.
Let's begin with the people and the costumes. I went trick or treating with Veganana (She's vegan, and she likes banana's. She runs a food blog here.) and our other friend The French Actress, aka TFA. TFA went as a cereal killer- basically she pinned cereal box fronts to her clothes, carried a knife and broken handcuffs, and spattered herself with fake blood. I hang out with some pretty clever people. I'm not quite sure what Veganana was, but it involved a cape that got caught in a bunch of stuff and a witch hat. I went as a ballerina princess in a neon purple tutu and a silver crown. I just wanted to wear the tutu, I've been waiting all year. Anyway.



The thing that was odd had been the day before. Apparently, on a neighboring street, some guy pulled up next to a nanny and and a baby and said "Give me your baby!" the nanny was smart, and reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a sniper (KIDDING, KIDDING) and made a fist with her finger sticking out to look like a gun. She was like, try me and the guy drove off. My kinda nanny. So we were worried about getting abducted and everything. We knocked on doors, said trick or treat, yada yada yada. We're 13...not too old to trick or treat, right? Apparently we are, according to some guy.
Us: Trickatreat!
The guy: Oh. Are you guys just walking around, or trick or treating?
Me: No, yeah, we're just walking around IN A FREAKING TUTU AND WITH A BUNCH OF MAKEUP ON YES WE'RE TRICK OR TREATING.
Only I said that in my head.
Unfortunately.
We made fun of that guy later.
The next thing that happened was we knocked on a door. A man wearing a sweater vest (? WHY ?) opens the door, clearly hiding the candy behind his back. We kept saying "Happy...Halloween?" until TFA said trick or treat. "THAT WAS THE MAGIC WORD!" he proclaimed. He dramatically swished the candy out from behind his back and luckily it was chocolate. I stated a fact about the obesity of children in America, and then he gave us his candy guidelines.
"To eat this," he declared, holding up a mini packet of M and M's "You must run for two minutes. Two." He laid it back in the bowl and picked up a mini Twix. "To balance this, you must run for 3 minutes." I was cracking up but he was dead serious. "You ladies are most definitely not obese, but chocolate is part of a healthy lifestyle, we need it to live. But you must run if you eat it."
"Heh. Heh. Bye...?" I stepped backwards uncertainly. Weirdo.
The next thing that happened was when we were walking down the sidewalk a busy street when we saw a man playing guitar.
As I might have mentioned, my family is a hippie family. Refer here if you've forgotten or didn't see it. I'm quite used to talking to strange men playing guitars, because
1) I find a lot of those on my porch jammin with my dad and
2) every 6 months I go to this hippie festival. Long story short, half the people there are strange, bearded, usually drunk men. I've learned their ways.
TFA throws a Nerds box into the guys guitar case, and I was like no! What if he doesn't like them? So I spoke up.
"HEY! Love the guitar, is that a Fender? My friend threw candy into your case and it's not like we don't like you but we don't have money if I had money I would give it to so is candy oka-"
"Heeey. Heyyyy. I don't want the money...I don't want the candy...all I want...is your friendship." He replied. Oh my God. He is so drunk. Oh my God. This is awesome. I thought. Since I'm used to giving out friendship like...well, candy, I preached. "YOU SIR, HAVE MY FRIENDSHIP!"
"I want your love!"
"You have my love, random guitar player!"
"I want...I want your love and friendship!"
"YOU HAVE MY LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP!!"
"You are a princess!" (side note: I was wearing a tiara.)
"I am a princess!"
"I AM YOUR KNIGHT!"
"YOU ARE MY KNIGHT!"
This is how it went for a while, both of us sounding like a preacher preach/singing to a crowd. Then I realized that a bearded drunk man was calling me his princess. Stranger danger.
"Um...later!"I laughed.
"The princess...she said LATER! AHAHAHAHAH! The princess...LATER....HA HA AH!!!"
For some reason, he found this hysterical. We walked down the street, and we could hear him dying laughing behind us. We turned the corner, and he was still laughing and repeating me, but calling me the princess.
So, readers, that is my halloween. Veganana should give me her candy shortly, as she is a vegan. I need to stop having deep and meaningful conversations with bearded homeless men, and we had the best night ever.
xoxo
Stellar Sweetheart